no more suffering for Esbin

even though i spent several hours looking at his lifeless body, i know that he is far from dead.

today around 2:00pm, my buddy esbin took his last breath. also at 2:00, he got up and ran for the first time in over 7 years.

those of us left behind... we all cried. but not him. he is finally free from suffering. he is finally out of the bed that he's been in for what seems like forever. he is finally running, jumping, and playing soccer. his dreams have finally come true.

my kids and i just finished sharing together, and we were imagining esbin playing soccer with Jesus. my son jake said he pictured esbin shooting penalty kicks while Jesus played goalie.

surely esbin is happier now than i've ever seen him, happier than anyone has ever seen him.

today i am cherishing the last conversations we had. in the last few weeks we have talked much deeper about Jesus, about grace, love, and faith.

we talked in depth about his illness. big questions of "why me?" and "why do people have to suffer?". i told him God is using his sickness to glorify Himself... and that he must be an amazing kid for God to have so much confidence in him to use him in such a mighty way. kerrie and i both came away from those conversations believing that esbin "got it."

i also think he finally understood that he didn't have to hang on any longer.

his mom told me that this morning esbin told her he was going to die. she said "don't say that" but he said it again. a couple hours later he started to struggle breathing. normally, this is when we would get the call and we'd be there within minutes with Dr. Carlos to go through the routine of stabilization.

but this time esbin cried out to God "please take me home." his mom admittedly didn't want to hear that, but again esbin cried out "God, if you want me, please take me today. I don't want this anymore." minutes later he fell asleep for the last time.

we were in the village with a mission team working on a project. we received word and rushed up to the house.

a few hours later, we watched a father come home from work to find his son dead.

after 20 minutes of weeping and shouting - he finally cried out "thank you Jesus... receive my son... take care of my boy..."

as things calmed down, we were able to have some wonderful and sweet conversations with esbin's family. they thanked us over and over for the support over the last couple years. his dad said "we can never repay you for what you've done." our response, on behalf of ourselves as well as all of you who have gotten to know him, was that esbin has helped us far more than we could have ever helped him.

i was told that esbin's last words, as he looked at his mom, were "tell brock to take care of you."

no worries little buddy. i'll take care of your mom. but you have to score one against Jesus for me...

i miss you.



As he passed by he saw a man blind from birth. And the disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he may be born blind?" Jesus answered them, "it was not that this man sinned, nor his parents, but that the works of God may be displayed in him." John 9:1-3