Tuesday, November 13, 2018

"be with me better"

enjoying time together as a family
family, friends, supporters, etc:  thank you for hanging in there with us during the first leg of our sabbatical!  its been more than we ever imagined.

for me, sitting still has been hard.  once i feel like God has spoken (ok, maybe only opened the slightest crack in the door) i tend to plow forward.  most of the time, i think thats a good thing.  in fact, i push idle christians to MOVE, DO, and JUMP as often as i can.

which is what makes this current season so tough.  God is telling me to be still.  more specifically, I keep hearing him tell me "be with me.  i'll tell you what and where when you're ready to hear it." 

the fact that he hasn't been clear on the "what and where" part...  kind of makes me assume i'm not great at the "be with me" part.

i feel rested.  i haven't been sick in 4 months, probably my longest run since 10+ years ago when we left for guatemala.  my stomach feels great.  i've gained weight (i think its good weight! haha).  i think i had just gotten used to constant stomach infections and stress.

this season has been a blessing for reasons we couldn't have predicted.  full of precious time with our family.  consistency with your adult children, parents, siblings, etc is something that missionaries give up.  this season of being a part of their daily lives has brought us extraordinary joy.

i'm working on being with God.  Jesus cherished getting alone with his father.  as awesome as the last decade of ministry has been... i haven't been great at cherishing my alone time with Jesus.  i'm learning and growing in this area.  

with cesar and andrea in guatemala october 2018

we just got back from a recent visit to our guatemala and honduras academies, and are so encouraged by how things are going.  i love talking with our missionaries, encouraging them and helping with whatever they need.  

we don't yet know exactly when and where the next ministry plant will be.  we thought for sure we were headed to iraq.  i'd be on a plane tomorrow if God would confirm and release us.  but we've put it all back on the table in light of what we believe He is asking us to do. "BE STILL. BE WITH ME."

please pray for us.  i want to be better at being with Jesus.  i thought i knew how to do that, but i think he wants me to do it better.  i've heard this before - its precious and familiar to me.  similar to how he spoke to the rich young ruler (matthew 19:16-22) i hear his voice telling me "i want everything."

but Jesus, look at all i've done for you.  "i know, but there's more to do."  
but Jesus, look at what i've given up for you.  "i know, but you can give me more."
but Jesus, you know i love being with you.  "i know, but you can be with me better."  

Jesus, you've blessed me so much.  i know, i know... you want to bless me more.


Greg Coleman said...

Indeed. Be with me better. I struggle with this too. Thank you for sending these updates. We love you all and your mission. Insights into your journey are helpful for us to understand how to pray for you. Excited to see what God does next.

brock said...

thanks Greg. appreciate you bro! we'll be in touch amigo