reflecting on 15 years, what I wasn't expecting

  

in a few days we'll celebrate 15 years in the mission field.  most of that time has been in Guatemala, with a couple of stints in West Africa.

by God's grace, much has been done. a lot of gospel work and a lot of needs met!

but those are things i had hoped for and expected.

i've been thinking lately about some things that i wasn't expecting.  particularly how much God has changed me.

• humiliation.  i mean that in a good way.  i have been reminded countless times that i am weak and incapable. the mission field has a way of stripping my former identity, damaging my ego, crushing my self reliance, and exposing my sin.  i'm thankful for it all. 

• dependence.  closely linked to humiliation... but it's a specific and ongoing realization that "apart from Him i can do nothing."  my morning starts with the prayer, "Lord i need you, i can't get through this day without you."  not only the costs, dangers, and challenges associated with where we live, but the simple sinful tendencies of my flesh.  my impatience, my proneness to distraction, my desire to be appreciated. in these areas and many more i have grown to be more dependent upon the Lord.

• sanctification.  "sanctify them in the truth, your word is truth" (john 17:17). when we left 15 years ago i had no idea how little i knew of God's Word.  i knew the Lord had saved me and i wanted to live for Him, tell others about Him, and help people.  but 15 years of abiding, studying, and clinging to His Word has done more for my life, family, and ministry than anything else.

• perspective.  i don't attribute it directly to being in the mission field, but i can't deny the contribution.  life experience is just different.  things like meeting friends at a good restaurant,  or looking forward to fun weekend plans, simply aren't realities.  or going golfing.  or going to the pool.  or a hundred other things.  in the early years these "losses" were more difficult, but over time i have come to see them as precious blessings. 

• 
  relationships.  adjusting to life in the foreign mission field typically means a reduction in community. most missionaries leave an environment where fellowship, hangouts, play dates, sports leagues, neighborhood barbecues, etc, were the norm. and even after 5, 10, 15+ years in the field, missionaries still find it challenging to cultivate the same level of connection in a second language.

but the relationships God has blessed us with over the last 15 years have been more than we could have ever imagined. both with locals, as well as with our ministry family.  there is a level of comfort and love and trust that is simply priceless.

sharing life together in the field - through the toughest of trials to the greatest of celebrations - has brought us immeasurable and unexpected joy. 

i thank God continually for these relationships, for the depth they enjoy and the foundation of Christ that they are built upon.

 

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another (Proverbs 27:17).

when we left 15 years ago i was full of anticipation and excitement for all that lied ahead.  but i have to admit, i had no idea how much God would change me through it all.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23