why are kerrie and i so exhausted? why do we hit the bed and feel like we've just been struck by a truck - every single day? why do the days seem like a blur?
i dont even know the answer. i guess its because something is happening every second. i dont know. its just been nuts.
one thing i love... are the unexpected, unplanned conversations that come up all through the day and night. its the part that reminds me why we did this. so we can invest more deeply. even though we feel like we already have been, its just different when you're literally living in the same house.
|robin (center) with jake and pato - 2011|
robin has been like my own boy for many years now. here's a couple stories from years ago about him and his family, as a reference: aug 2011, sep 2011.
anyway, i sent robin (now 15) out to do some work for me on the 4-wheeler. darwin went with him. they were way up in the mountain, climbing a dirt road, taking a (fast) left turn. as they rounded the turn, a truck coming down the hill appeared, and it was too late to even slow down. they crashed head-on.
thankfully, the 4-wheeler has a monster front-rack, and the rack is what hit the truck. however, the impact did throw the ATV into a flip. the boys were thrown off, but thankfully no one was hurt.
except the pickup. it had a busted headlight, dented bumper, and dented fender.
when darwin came in the house out of breath and said "robin needs you", i knew something was wrong. when we arrived at the site of the accident, robin approached me with tears in his eyes.
"viejo, dejame explicar." ("old man, let me explain".) i was fully prepared to hear how he didn't do anything wrong, and how the truck came out of nowhere and nailed him. one thing that is an absolute in this culture, is that men dont accept responsibility for their actions. there is a big premium put on lying, cowardice, wiggling, and getting out of any situation - no matter what it takes.
but the first thing out of robin's mouth was, "it was all my fault." i asked him to explain the accident to me (before i speak to the owner of the truck) to make sure we didn't have a potential 50/50 fault situation.
but robin insisted it was his fault. finally i asked him, "robin, i appreciate your honesty... but if you were both coming around a corner, and neither one of you saw each other, maybe both are at fault. could that be the case?"
he said, "brock, no... it was my fault. i was flying. i shouldn't have been going so fast. there's no way he could have seen me. he was going slow, but i was flying around that corner."
so we met with the owner of the truck, admitted our fault, and said we'd do whatever it takes to pay for the damages. i had to hurry back home as i was in the middle of something, and never really finished the conversation with robin... until dinner that night.
we all joined around the table as usual, and i could tell robin was still not himself. when i consider the typical role of the "abusive man" in this culture, i could understand why. he thought i was mad. maybe he thought i was going to explode. even though he's known me as a father figure for the last 6 years (he doesn't have a dad)... nothing like this had ever happened. he was definitely uneasy.
i told the group that something major happened today, and that i wanted robin to explain. with a lump in his throat, he told the story. when he finished he looked at me with giant tears in his eyes. the whole table was dead-silent. again, considering the culture, i knew why. everyone thought the old man was about to detonate.
i looked him in his tear-filled eyes and said, "well robin, i want to tell you something. (long pause.) i am so proud of you."
i could literally feel the shock of everyone at the table!
i went on... "i am so much more concerned about your heart than i am about that accident. your integrity means so much more to me than repairing that truck. today is a day that you stood up like a real man, admitted your mistake, and said i'll face the consequences. as far as i'm concerned, thats unheard of in this village. God is so happy with you. and so am i. lets celebrate!"
|robin with luci - 2016|
from there we had a long conversation about integrity.
these are life lessons that the boys will never forget. opportunities to solidify and "make real" so many of the teachings that we have shared with them over the years.
life ministry is so good.
even if every day is a blur, and every night ends in total exhaustion!