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| Mayan customs in Quiché Guatemala |
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| Enrique and Candy's wedding |
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| Doc Pozuelos & Luci |
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| Nicho, Araceli, baby Esteban, and doctors' Diaz and Mendoza |
baby Esteban is back home - praise God!!!
i was able to get back to Guatemala a couple days ago and help get Nicho, Araceli, and Esteban settled back into our home in Quiché.
Esteban is doing great!!! although they are a little nervous about being far from hospitals and family again... they both expressed a strong desire to get back home. Nicho told me that this is where God called them to be and they need to get back as soon as possible. i am so proud of this couple for their commitment to the missionary call, and steadfastness through these trials!
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| Araceli and Esteban |
we continue praying for his improvement, and also for the provision of his medical care.
please CLICK HERE for a recent update and for info on how to help.
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| Dennilson, Araceli, and baby Esteban |
at first i thought i was in our last apartment in west africa. but the placement of the door threw me off.
then my mind went to the jacksonville townhouse, but i quickly realized i wasn't there either.
i sat up to wake myself up, and realized where i was. kerrie woke up and asked if everything was ok. (the night before, i caught her doing security rounds in the house at 3am! she had drawn the conclusion - at 3am - that since the home we're renting had security cameras, there must be serious reason for concern and logically we're probably in grave danger. lol)
after telling her i was just disoriented for a minute, we laid there for a while and eventually started laughing...
similar things had been happening to her. back in san lucas, she saw a missionary family she recognized in a grocery store, but right before saying "hi" realized she was confusing them with a family we knew in africa!
i can't even count the times i have used french instead of spanish... or walked into the room and swiped the wrong wall expecting to hit the light switch... or forgot what options any given store has, or where stuff is, or what stuff is called... or forgot what tools, or office supplies, or clothes i have with me here, verses ones that i had somewhere else.
and i really miss family and friends from each location. i wish i would have appreciated and taken better advantage of the time i had with people in each place.
but here we are!
at a minimum, it's a great reminder of 2 things:
1 - this life is not our home
2 - the christian life is a mission
last Sunday was moving day. after getting my truck all loaded up i went down to help Nicho and Araceli load their furniture onto a moving truck. it was pretty special to experience their combo of excitement and sadness as they emptied their little house of all they owned, with plans to permanently relocate to a place they'd never been.
yesterday we found an english school in Chichicastenango (for Nicho and Araceli) and took a tour of the whole town on market day, which was great. they'll start classes next week, and we'll be leading them through some online theology studies. it's going to be a great season of learning and preparation!
we've all been striking up conversations with locals and praying for God to lead the way for BVSA Quiche. we don't know exactly when/where/how just yet... but we're here... praying, learning, seeking, and ready to obey however He leads.
Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! Psalm 96:3
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| taken this morning! enlarge to appreciate :) |
This trip turned out to be much different than I thought it would be. Not that there's any expectation of "normal" any more...
Before we came to Guate, we knew Covid had hit the Wilson house. But they were doing ok. Quarantined and getting through it. So we came on in, continuing forward with our plans.
First on the agenda was our trip to Quiche, about 6 hours north of BV, where we're looking to plant another academy. It was a great trip, but when we got back the situation with the Wilsons had gotten worse.
Laura was recovering, but Ryan's health had tanked. Laura, who is a registered nurse, had been monitoring his oxygen levels - and I could tell she was starting to get concerned.
At one point I texted her and asked "at what point do we need to get him somewhere?" She replied that she had been thinking the same thing, and told me about his breathing. He was already to the level where, if stateside, he would have been put on oxygen.
My daughter Brooke started calling hospitals. The first one had no room in its Covid wing. The second one said they had space for one person. After talking to Laura, within 15 minutes we were packed (in case we'd need to stay overnight) and had Ryan in the car, headed to the city.
But then... Guatemala! There were protests going on against the President, and all major roads were roadblocked.
We called Dr. Carlos and he confirmed the protests. We asked for an ambulance. Surely the protests would let an ambulance through! But Doc said no - with the magnitude and preparation for protests like this one, they don't even let ambulances through for emergencies.
He said to meet him in San Lucas, that he knew a back road. About an hour later, we started down a trek that in my 10 years living in Guatemala I had never seen. It was treacherous and beautiful! We were moving down a muddy, rain-washed out trail, that winded through lush rain forest. Thankfully we were in the Wilsons 4-Runner so we never got stuck, although cars were getting stuck around us.
Finally, we made it to a paved road again, and then found our way to the main road to the city, and ultimately to the hospital. Ryan was exhausted. He had been bouncing and coughing the whole way. We got him out of the car and into the ER, where they began to run tests.
They allowed Laura to go in with him, but they made me wait outside. Occasionally they would let me in to help translate something, or just to help Laura process everything. But for the most part, I spent the next few hours sitting on a concrete ledge right outside the door. Dr. Carlos was coming off his own 24hr hospital shift, so he spent that time sleeping in the car.
After 6 attempts to get an IV in, Ryan told Laura, "lets just go home." He knew that wasn't a good idea. But he was tired and frustrated. Laura was steady and sweet... encouraging him the whole time. After IV fluids, oxygen treatment, and x-rays of his lungs, they finally said he needed to be admitted. Alone.
Reminder: Even though this was a nicer hospital by Guatemalan standards, this was no "American suburban hospital." Sometimes in these scenarios in the foreign mission field, you just feel unsteady for a minute. While the Wilsons have been through some tough stuff in their short time in the field already, she was immediately forced to decide if she was willing to say goodbye to her husband right then, not 100% sure if she'd see him again.
Minutes later, the three of us were staring at the double doors to the Covid wing with a lady in a hazmat suit ready to take him back. I prayed over him, then she wheeled him back and the double doors closed. The flurry of a chaotic day was suddenly silent.
I looked at Laura and asked, "you ok?" She said, "I think so."
We took about two steps and she stopped and said, "actually no, I'm not"... and began crying. I gave her a big hug, and began saying over and over "God has him" and "He is Sovereign Lord" and "He is worthy of moments like this."
I had no literal, physical assurances to offer her. I had no idea what was going to happen. After all, the reality was, Laura's sick husband and my sick friend had just gotten wheeled back into the Covid wing of a Guatemalan hospital in the middle of the biggest global pandemic the world has ever known. Whose to say how that's going to end?
What I did know in that moment is that our Sovereign Lord hadn't lost control of anything.
He is unchangeable... what he desires, that he does. Job 23:13
Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. Psalm 135:6
I knew Laura knew that too. And Ryan. (Anyone who knows him knows that the "sovereignty of God" is his mantra.)
And seriously - without trust in a sovereign God, how is "comfort" or "peace" even possible in these moments?
After a good cry-hug, Laura told me she was ok. She later told me that in that moment God's peace completely washed over her. She said her cry was a deep surrender. That God's grace was sufficient, and His power was made perfect in her weakness.
Update
Fast forward a week. Ryan is back home. He's recovering slowly, but doing well. I tested positive a few days later. No symptoms at first, but the last few days have been rough. Fever, chills, body ache, etc. I've been isolated in quarantine now for 5 days.
I'm thankful for times like this.
Thankful for Ryan who is such a deep lover of God and His Word. Such a good husband and dad. I'm thankful God chose not to take him home just yet.
Thankful for Laura. She is such a rock! It was special to share that day with her.
Thankful for Doc Carlos's help.
Thankful that no one else here has gotten it.
Most of all I am thankful to have been here. God knew in His wisdom and providence that we'd be here to help navigate the events of that day.
And I'm also thankful to be stuck in this room where I'm writing this. We were supposed to be home for my dad's 70th birthday party tonight, combined with my son's going away party- for college in Ohio.
But this is where the Lord has me instead. And He's been faithful to meet me here, in a very personal way.
There's a lot going on right now. In His mercy He made me do a "force quit" to just be still and know the most important thing there is to know - that He is God.
I don't know if he truly believes that or if he is intentionally deceiving people (not for me to judge) but it is terrible theology. Even though it sounds loving and “positive” and kind, it’s actually quite hurtful.
On his website, Johnson states, “How can God choose not to heal someone when He already purchased their healing?” He continues, “He already decided to heal … There are no deficiencies on His end … All lack is on our end of the equation.”
Before I explain why this theology is hurtful, let me explain why it's wrong. It isn't just a little bit off. Not like a doctrinal error that drifts a bit and needs tweaked back to center by the Word (we’re all guilty of that at times). It's more like a directly opposite teaching to what is biblical. Not only is it not always God's will to heal, but he often chooses to use pain and sickness and suffering for his glory (and our growth).
6 reasons why this theology is wrong. Let the scriptures speak for themselves!
1. We are taught to rejoice in our sufferings because of what is being produced in us. How can we rejoice in our sufferings if our theology says pain and suffering is due to a "lack on our end"? How can we be thankful for what is being produced during suffering if we believe suffering should be avoided and extinguished?
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame… (Romans 5:3-5)
Count it all joy my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)
I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake... (Col 1:24)
This momentary affliction is preparing an eternal weight of glory beyond comparison (2 Cor 4:17)
2. If the priority is always on healing, relief, alleviation, etc, our focus is always on ourselves rather than God's glory and purposes. To deny ourselves, pick up our crosses and follow Jesus daily means we keep our eyes off our wants and embrace however he chooses to use us. I realize this is easier said than done. But put bluntly, it is selfish and short-sighted for a Christian to prioritize their own well being over God's purposes.
To keep me from being conceited, a thorn was given to me... Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor 12:7-10)
Whoever doesn't take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me... (Matthew 10:38)
Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. (Acts 5:41)
Don't be surprised at the fiery trial... (1 Peter 4:12-13)
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial... (James 1:12)
3. God’s desire is that we love him, follow him, worship him, trust him, need him, and depend on him. We often do all of the above better and more genuinely, when we're suffering in some way. This explains why missionaries who have experienced capture and even torture, or any Christian who has faithfully persevered though a season of suffering, will often say they oddly “miss” those difficult days. In times of suffering we depend on God in a sweeter way, and we are sanctified in a deeper way.
For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. (1 Peter 2:19)
This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. (Psalm 119:50)
But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. (1 Peter 3:14)
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor 12:9)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. (Isaiah 40:29)
4. Christ himself suffered in this life, and he is our example.
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. (1 Peter 2:21)
We are afflicted in every way... so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (2 Cor 4:8-10)
Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin... (1 Peter 4:1)
5. Suffering is promised and guaranteed for Christians. It is a badge of honor. It is a calling and a privilege to join Christ in his sufferings. Why then pray with such fervor to avoid it?
It has been granted to you, for the sake of Christ, that you should suffer... (Phi 1:29)
Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted... (2 Timothy 2:12)
That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death... (Phi 3:10)
Many are the afflictions of the righteous... (Psalm 34:19)
6. Our only hope for a life without pain and suffering is in the resurrected body! Why would we pursue it or expect it to come before that?
If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. (1 Cor 15:19)
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Rev 21:4)
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body… (Phi 3:20-21)
There are heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies… sown in weakness and raised in power… 1 Cor 15 (whole chapter)
Here's why this theology is hurtful
Indeed, it is a natural human desire to want pain to go away. And, as the lie goes, it seems that a loving God would want us to be healthy, happy, and healed. But as we’ve seen from the abundance of scriptures above, God doesn’t see things through human logic. If he did, there surely would have been a better way to deal with sin then by sending his son to die in our place - a brutal and terrible death by crucifixion.
But our all knowing and all powerful God, in all his mysterious sovereignty, uses pain and suffering for his glory! And our growth! Which is why this theology bent on health and healing is actually hurtful.
Under this belief system, rather than recognizing and emphasizing God's purposes in suffering, the sufferer is actually led to feel ashamed for their condition. Bill Johnson's claim that anything short of healing reveals a "lack on our end" leads to no other conclusion. God sees human sickness, weakness, and deficiency as a means for all glory and fame to be directed to himself. But this false theology of health and healing steals this precious opportunity from the sufferer... leaving him/her feeling condemned.
A story I witnessed that says it all
A dear friend of mine once received some crushing news of a life-altering diagnosis on his only son.
The son, 14 years old at the time, was a talented soccer player in our academy with a bright future both academically and athletically. For a few weeks he had experienced serious back pain, and it had gotten to the point where it was excruciating. X-rays revealed a curvature in his spine so severe that the doctors determined he would need to wear a body brace ("Milwaukee brace") for the next 2-3 years, 23 hrs per day, leaving only an hour for shower and therapy.
It was devastating news. I was there when the doctors explained it to the family. The boy broke out into tears, falling into his dad's arms and asked "why dad, why?" over and over again. His mom and sisters were sobbing.
Before I explain what happened next, I should say that this young man's father is the most Christ-like man I have ever met. He knows God's Word better than anyone I know. He has endured suffering in his own right for the glory of God, and is the most joyful worshipper of Jesus I know. He also, important to note, very much believes in the gift of healing.
But in this moment of great pain and concern and emotion, he did not pray for healing of his son. He did not assure his son that God would heal him or even that God can heal him. What he did was one of the most precious and selfless and Christ-exalting things I have ever seen.
The confident way he spoke got the attention of all in the room. He asked his crying son to calm down, and look him in the eyes. And he said with a smile and hopeful voice, "Son, if God has chosen you for this, it is because he is doing something amazing! Let’s rejoice and be excited and honored that he would choose to use you to suffer for his glory!”
For me personally it was one of those moments where time kinda stopped for a second. I wasn't expecting that at all. I was totally dumbfounded. For this man, before any concern for "what this means for us”, the moment was all about God's glory. His first thought wasn't his son's diagnosis, or all the challenges that lie ahead, or getting a second opinion, or even praying for healing. His immediate focus wasn't his son's physical well being, but rather his spiritual well being. Even more, how God might use his son for his own glory and purposes.
THAT, my friends, was an accurate biblical response to sickness and suffering. I'm not arguing for a theology that says it's wrong to seek healing. Not at all! (In fact, you can click here to see how that story ended.) But a good biblical position on suffering would never suggest that God prefers healing over suffering to bring glory to himself.
In summary
Bill Johnson said adding “if it’s your will” to his prayers would be a “prayer of unbelief.” I find that to be tragic! In reality it takes a much greater belief to joyfully accept whatever it is that God’s plans and purposes may be - whether sickens or health, life or death.
And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39
As Christians we are to put all our trust and belief in the Lord, no matter what the outcome is for us in this life. Unlike Johnson says, we cannot know in every situation whether God wants to use suffering or healing to declare his glory. What we can do, like my friend did so beautifully that day, is put ourselves and our families at the altar and say “use us as you see fit, for your glory.”
Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases. Psalm 115:3
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21
Whatever the Lord pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps. Psalm 135:6
I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things. Isaiah 45:7
What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. Romans 9:14-16
